


The Dream of a Fish

by TheHowlofaWildButt



Category: Original Work
Genre: Animal Transformation, Gen, Interspecies, Interspecies Relationship(s), Modern Era, Nameless Characters, Suicide Attempt, Transformation, for the animal it was everything, for the human it was only a short while, heebie jeebie magic stuff going on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 05:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12742050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHowlofaWildButt/pseuds/TheHowlofaWildButt
Summary: At a lake, a person planned to plunge into the cold waters and never resurface, but a chance encounter with a friendly fish changed everything. Though the attempt was foiled, the darkness eating her alive still hadn't left. In the forest where anything can happen, can she find something worth living for?





	The Dream of a Fish

There was a person on the lake’s bridge about to kill herself. Looking over the edge, the water was dark and deep underneath, and there were plenty of rocks to land one’s head against. Death would be certain, so she stood there for a while for her nerves to build up and take that fatal plunge. She was halfway ready to do so, and leaned against the railing in preparation to do so. Her beaded bracelet wore against the jagged rust of the railing and snapped off, each beloved bead below plunging quietly into lake with only a whisper.

Although not a moment before was she ready to throw away the weight of the world, the loss of a single bracelet stung coldly at her. The precious bracelet that was associated with valuable moments in her life was gone forever, and she cursed at the cruelty. Not only for the loss of the bracelet, but for the return of her yearning to live. Her hands trembled, and her tears burned at her eyes.

Down below however rose a fish to the surface attracted to the falling beads. It had thought that they were pieces of food. The person above had already begun to leave the bridge, their attempt at suicide foiled, yet the fish didn’t know that. It followed by to see if the person would drop anything else into the water. Even though it was only a fish, seeing that for a moment there was a living soul out there that was interested in her at her worst hour, the person called out to the fish. “Next time, if I’m still alive, I’ll bring you actual food.”

And so a couple of days later, that very person who had tried to kill themselves now carried a bag of pellets. To her surprise, that very same fish was there. It was recognizable because although the rest of its body was black, there was one splotch of scarlet on top, a sign of its domestic heritage. The pointlessness of everything still weighing heavily in her mind, she carelessly tossed a few pellets into the water. In contrast to her own inner lifelessness, the fish zoomed animatedly in the water as soon as food hit the water. Piece after piece it sucked up, and when it was all done, it looked to the one who had tossed them for more. She supposed that she could spare a few more.

Soon it became a ritual. Even if it was just feeding some random fish at the lake, the person was able to find reason enough to keep going on. The fish learned quickly what time to expect her, and by the time she would arrive, it was already there by the rocky shore waiting for her. The shape of its shadow gliding across the stones underneath, and the way that its fin would peak out of the water’s surface like a sail in high wind was the first time in a while that she felt that there was something awe-inspiring in the world. The curtain of depression would lift for just a moment.

It was bold for a wild fish. It approached close to the shore where she stood seemingly against its nature as a timid bottom feeder. Even when she was out of food to give would it still linger by, calmly swimming. In a fit of intrigue, the person tried reaching her hand out to water. The fish zoomed in at the expectation of food, but quickly became confused that there was none. It was strange being able to read an emotion on a creature not known for expressiveness, but the earnestness was lovable. She was about to toss a few more pellets for the fish as apology for the confusion, but was surprised to that the fish swam in circles around her hand no matter where she would point it.

As cool as the finding out that there was at least one soul alive that enjoyed her presence, it would not be enough to counter the darkness inside her head. Life had lost its color, and truly did she feel disgusting. One last time did she come to the lake, and that was to offer a goodbye. “You’re a smarter fish than any other I’ve known, so hopefully you can get the message.” She said, before dumping the entire bag’s content of food pellets into the water. “…I’m sorry, little fish, but this maybe the last time I’m coming over here. Your kindness and joy has helped me against the terrible things in my life, but my issues… just been too much lately. Believe it or not, last time you were the reason I didn’t end it then and there, but this time I really want to. It’s too painful, I can’t bear it anymore.” The person took off, a mind reeling with too much hurt inside.

Ignoring the raining pellets, the fish swam against the sides of the water, but no direction it could go would bring it closer to the person leaving.

—

In the distant mountains, that person could be found. She hiked along the cresting trail high up. Along the way, she would help out any lost hikers find their way back down to safety. It was easy because for once she wasn’t the one who was lost. She knew exactly where upon the trail she wanted to go. Where it reached the highest into the mountains could she leap off the cliff. With a stony face she thought these things.

Things seemed like an average day on the trail where anonymous lives come together for their important voyage. The person had been interrupted by the sight of another traveler’s shape off to the side of the trail. Although it was difficult to see them clearly as they were far enough to the woods to be covered under their dense shadow, it seemed that they were having trouble standing. They leaned against the tree needily.

“Hello?” The person called out to the stranger. “Are you okay?” The trail was light, yet the area off it was dark. With squinted eyes, she could see the silhouette of the person moving sluggishly against the tree as if it was the only thing keeping it upright. Was this person dying? She stepped off to the side to help before this person passed out, or worse.

“Forgive me… I’m not very used to this place, but I’ll be fine…” Said the stranger. With not so much distance, she could see his face. Pale and tired looking.

“Is this your first time on the trail?” She asked.

“It is.” He said.

“Say, would like to walk together until you get where you need to be?” The person asked.

Surprised at first, but a smile lit on his face. “Sure!”

—

She had set up camp for them. An area cleared of leaves and brush (and insects), she lit a fire and offered her supplies. The stranger took the water since it was what he needed the most. With a drink inside him, he was able to start to come to life.

The person asked basic conversation questions about the stranger such as why he was traveling the trail. This trail was legendary in its own way for the rumor that those who reach the end can have their wishes granted. Though it was probably nonsense, the fact that people taking the time, effort, and resources to travel the woods by foot held some important goal to them. What was his?

“I was supposed to meet up with someone, but I think that plan fell through. Uh, if you were to ask just me though, I guess I’d have to say that I just wanted to see what things were like here. I’ve never been out on a trip like this, but the urge struck me, and I knew that even if it’s just for a little bit, I wanted to try. Um, what about you?” He said.

The person smiled. “Pretty much the same.” After a pause, she continued. “Although, I guess I’m like most other hikers, trying to look for that special something in life before having to go back to the normal world.”

Her attempts at not throwing too much of her true intentions in her voice seemed to work, as he seemed happy enough with her answer. The stranger hoped the best of luck for her on her journey, and that they would both find what they were looking for. “No matter how long it takes, I’m sure you’ll find it.” He said.

“Hah. Perhaps so.”

—

“It’s been so long since I’ve had anything to eat.” The person said. Her stomach wouldn’t stop bothering her for some food. “Let me see if I have anything to eat.” But she knew already by the lightness of her backpack that whatever meal she’d like to eat, it’d have to be a small one. “Well, it will do.”

“Would you care for some of what I got?” Said the stranger noticing the other’s vexed grin. “Surely I must have something in my own pack to eat.” He reached a hand into his own backpack and felt about. Nothing seemed to be coming up. “Surely…” He repeated. Why would he be carrying a backpack if there was nothing inside it? For appearances? Before his confusion became evident, the feel of mylar brushed against his fingertips. Soon there was a multitude. “Here. Take whatever you’d like.”

“I’ve never heard of these brands. Seaweed bites? Shrimp Bouillon Flavor Bars? Crawfish nuggets? Watercress chews?”

“Ah, sorry if they’re not to your liking.” He said abashedly.

“No, these are fine. Just a little unexpected, heh. Guess I’ll take this one.” As she went to pick the chosen one out, she noticed a loose shape. A pellet? …Health food, maybe?

—

It had been a while since the two of them had started traveling together. The times were lighthearted, and despite the person who promised herself that she would leap off the crest’s peak, she found herself inevitably having fun. It was nice being able to talk about the beauty of the forest with someone who was as novice as she was. It would only be harder to fulfill her plan, the thought weighed in the back of her mind sickly.

The stranger felt faint of breath at times, but with someone else with him, he was sure that he would be fine. Although there was something that had been plaguing him as well.

At night, the bed rolls were pulled out. While the other had went to sleep quite fast, he lied awake. The night stars were so bright, and beautiful. So where was this unease coming from?

When the person had described aspects of her life to him, such as the really good bakery she liked to visit, or really long commute to work, the stranger nodded and enjoyed the conversation. He understood the words somehow, but he couldn’t remember what those things were. A fog filled his head.

‘Why can’t I remember,’ he thought. ‘I’m not confused about what anything is, but I don’t remember having ever seen these things.

‘I also can’t remember coming here. I try and think back, but nothing makes sense. Other than just recently, the only memories I have… are…’

The rush of the wind. A futile struggle. Searing pain that seemed to rip him in half.

And afterwards, slowly stumbling through the woods, struggling to not fall. Merely keeping on towards the blurred light, where the confining forest met open trail.

Then once he met another person, his wounds were gone along with the memory of what had caused it.

—

The day that followed, the stranger continued to think to himself these strange thoughts. With each flash of memory came an equal flash of pain upon his body. Gaining a better insight into just where was he before he awakened in the forest hurt, but if he could find out the truth, then…

The trail continued to rise higher. The setting sun stared at them plaintively behind the thick trees. A person and a stranger both with secrets filling their minds continued to walk towards a goal they weren’t certain of anymore. The hike was quiet and determined, but the unease was palpable.

‘Listen, buckaroo,’ she had already began practicing what she would say to him. ‘I’m not who you think I am.’ But it would seem that he would have the leg up on him on airing some of those secrets that needed to be said.

There was a certain blankness to his eyes. He walked as if the weight on his back was far too heavy. It probably was. They had walked enough for the day, perhaps they could call it quits. She was about to say as much, but when she turned to him with a dismayed face, she only saw him swallow dryly once before falling to the ground.

“Hey! Are you okay?” She called out.

—

She was trying to get a reception on her phone. It had been fine for so long, but the one moment she truly needed it, it was gone. She wanted to yell and toss it, but it wasn’t appropriate. Not at a moment like this.

“Do you… remember a lake?” His voice was so sudden, it startled her. She turned to see him as she left him, leaned against a tree, but he was awake now.

“What?” She heard, but she didn’t understand. A lake. Any lake in particular? What would this have to do with anything? “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.”

He was awake, but his eyes were glazed. “A lake with a bridge. You dropped something into the water there. A bracelet.”

She felt a chill run up her spine. How could this person have possibly known?

“…There was a fish there. The beads of the bracelet had brought it up to the surface. It would follow you around everywhere for some more stuff to eat.”

“I still don’t understand what you’re talking about. Who are you? Really?” Cut the bullshit, the thought hissed in her nervous mind. A stalker? Who was she really dealing with out here in the middle of nowhere?

“I remember it clearly. On that last day, you said you wanted to end yourself. And you left.”

“Stop! Stop already!” Trembling, she yelled out in fury. “Who are you?! Were you following me all this time? Did you follow me for a reason? Tell me now, or so help me, I’ll… I’ll…!”

“It’s strange. It’s all strange…” The eerie look from his eyes was gone. Now the stranger in front of her merely looked defeated. “I don’t quite get it myself. But I’ve started to remember things. About why I’m here. The truth is that when you told me that back then, I was really worried. I wasn’t concerned about the food, I was wondering what you were going to do. You went beyond the horizon, but I was stuck in the lake. There was no way for me to cross onto land, but I was still worried about you.”

“Are you trying to say that you’re that fish from back then?”

“I am.” He smiled wistfully.

“But how are you here?”

“I remember now. I died.” There is the sound of flesh being torn apart in the air. The person hearing this tale jolted and looked around for where this sound could have came from. Even the forest cry of birds and insects were made silent. The stranger before her merely winced. “It was a bird that took me. I had that one red spot on my head that was like a target for them. I was careless and in the shallow part of the river, and they saw an excellent opportunity. The next thing I knew, I was being torn apart. As my life flashed through my eyes, I thought to myself that I was at least grateful that I had known your friendship. Believe it or not, friendship is very rare in the river. Many things flow by each other with nary a thought. I’m thankful that I had a chance to experience what friendship was like, and even more so that it was with a human like you. I’ve had the rarest opportunity in the world, and I think I’m alright with the way that things have turned out.”

“But you died.” She heard all these things, and yet her mind could only struggle at the unbelievability of happiness in these events. As soon as she had uttered those words, she regretted it. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that…”

“Don’t worry. I was always going to die one day. I’m just happy that I got a chance to know you. I suppose this is my dying dream, to know what happened to you. I’m just happy to know that you’re still alive.”

Another sound of tearing flesh.

“B-blood! There’s blood everywhere!” She cried. “Don’t tell me you’re actually dead. Please! Isn’t there something we can do about this?”

“No…” Blood fell past his lips. “I can’t. I don’t think I can… I’d like to, but I don’t think it works like that…” He was shivering. “But I’ve had more than what I ever expected in my life. I’m glad. I’m glad I got to meet you. I’m glad I got to see the horizon, the stars, the world above of air… I’m glad you’re still here… Keep being alive. It hurts dying. …Ignore that last one, I’m rambling… I’m leaving and there’s a lot more I want to be able to say, but… it was a pleasure knowing you… You… should… live… long…”

—

The person was once again alone. The forest continued being unnaturally silent after the stranger’s last gasp. For the want of some sound to ease her numb mind as trekked back towards civilization, she had walked along a river’s stony shore. Though the stranger’s body had disappeared as soon as she blinked, his blood remained on her hands. She approached the river to wash it off.

A glint of light caught her eye.

She followed it, and at the source, she found a bead in the dried body of a fish. Its spine had been removed in multiple places, but enough flesh remained to hold the shriveled form together.

With a great silence in her heart, she took the body a distance away and buried it using a sharp rock to cut through the earth. She left the bead with it, along with her prayers.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this short tale of mine. Feel free to leave questions, comments, and critique if you'd like. I'd love to know what parts worked/didn't work, or if anything was confusing.
> 
> This story is also available on tumblr (https://anunearthlyfireburningbright.tumblr.com/post/167322411963/anunearthlyfireburningbright-the-dream-of-a), where it has music links and a picture teaser for a proposed sequel (https://anunearthlyfireburningbright.tumblr.com/post/167472490103/dont-they-know-theyre-asking-the-wrong-person). This is all optional, but just a fun bonus for reading the story. ;)


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